Suicide
by Bluebird0032
Summary: Back in Harrisonville, had Mark intended on going somewhere besides the doctor's office after his argument with Micah? Was he ready to give up? Is there something that could drive Mark back to a suicidal state?


I wasn't aware of how the stories where laying out on the website, so I've added some ~'s to help clear things up. Anytime there is a \, you know someone is thinking through a memory. I hope this helps! Thanks for the encouraging comments, they really help motivate!

Suicide

"HELP! SOMEBODY!" Mark screamed at the top of his lungs. He knew there wasn't a very good chance of anyone being able to hear him, but screaming for help was the only thing he could do. Mark didn't want to face the rattler that he heard on top of the ledge he hung from, and dropping fifteen feet to the next ledge (or another thirty feet past that to the canyon floor if he missed) wasn't something he felt like doing either. He prayed for the strength to hold on until his Pa got back...

"HELP!" Mark continued to desperately yell. He heard the snake rattling, preparing to strike at something... Mark hoped the snake wasn't getting ready to strike one of his hands.

Lucas watched as the calf and it's mother reunited. It brought back memories from when Mark was young... when Margaret was still alive. She would cuddle their son as she sat next to Lucas in the buck board or on the front porch of their home in Oklahoma. A smile crossed the rancher's face as he remembered his wife's gentleness, and the love she had poured out to both Mark and Lucas. When Margaret had passed, Lucas remembered having to learn to deal gently with his son, Mark took so much after his mother in looks and in character. He was gentle and sensitive, loving and trusting... sometimes too trusting. Lucas cringed at remembering the times he hadn't been around and Mark was put in some sort of danger because his son often overlooked the fact that people lie. But Mark was growing up and becoming more and more aware of this fact, Lucas assured himself. Mark was learning to listen to his instincts and was becoming more and more cautious.

Lucas kicked Razor and headed back to where he had left Mark. They where supposed to meet Lou for supper, and needed to head back to the house soon if they where going to clean up before they went into town.

"Pa, you don't need to come back... I can just meet you in town when I finish up here, it'll save time." Lucas laughed as he remembered how Mark had so desperately tried to get out of taking a bath that afternoon. He came up with so many excuses, it was hard for Lucas to keep a straight face as he told his son he was going to take a bath before they went to town.

Sooner or later that boy was going to have to learn that taking a bath was just part of life.

As Lucas rode across his land, he thought about all the time he and Mark had spent together working on the ranch over the break from school. Mark was beginning to enjoy school... somewhat... but he and Lucas both immensely enjoyed the times they had together to work and talk. It seemed the older Mark got, the more talking they did. And not just about how Mark was dealing with things, but even about how Lucas was dealing with things. Lucas remembered sitting on the porch with Mark shortly after he had brought his son home from Doc's earlier that year. Mark had suffered a wretched knee, twisted ankle, head injury, and had spent several nights out in the cold rain, only to be attacked by a wolf when he finally found his way towards town.

\"Mark, I'm going into town tomorrow morning, will you be alright here by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine... take if easy on them." Mark said, trying to conceal his grin.

"Easy on who?" Lucas asked.

"Oh you know exactly who. Micah and Doc where doing what was best for the both of us. If you had been out trying to find me you could've ended up..." Mark's demeanor changed as the emotions from those five days flooded him again. His Pa wasn't waking up last he had seen him... then Mark got lost in the woods and wasn't able to get help and it would've been his fault if something happened...

"Mark?" Lucas asked, interrupting his son's chain of thought.

"...and if you would've been out there, you wouldn't have found me out on the short cut."

"Mark, if Doc and Micah would've told me what was going on I could've been out there and have found you so much sooner. I'm your father, and the had absolutely no right-"

"I'm your son, and they would've had no right to let you out of that office. It was where you belonged and I knew that, that's why I went into town on my own to get help."

Turning towards Mark, Lucas looked his son in the eye.

"Mark, you're old enough to understand some of what I go through when you're missing. You feel that Doc and Micah where right to keep me in the office because of your concerns for me... in the same way, I was worried for you. You may not understand this until you're older, but a father's love for his son is so deep... I don't think about myself when I know there's something wrong or even a chance of something being wrong with you, I can't think of anything but you, leaving no room to think about keeping myself to Doc's standard of 'healthy'. Until I know you're safe, Mark, I can't have a moment's peace. When I figured out something was wrong, and then Milly..." Lucas paused at the thought of Milly, he missed her so much... "...Told me you had been missing, I went into complete... panic. Them keeping this from me made it worse. Does that make sense?" Lucas didn't feel like he was explaining it very well.

"Yeah... sounds like a son's love for his father. Back in Harrisonville when that doctor wouldn't let me see you I just about... well I know what you mean. Still, take it easy on them."

Mark knew Doc and Micah where in for an earful, and kinda felt sorry for them... but he knew he'd be the one talking to them himself if they had let Lucas out of the office.\

Lucas suddenly realized something. Mark had said 'back in Harrisonville when that doctor wouldn't let me see you...' it was the first time Lucas realised he was missing something about that trip.

'Had Mark gone that long...' Lucas' thoughts where suddenly interrupted by a scream up ahead... that suddenly stopped. He realized he was close to where his son was supposed to be working and as he came over the rise... he saw Blue Boy, but no Mark. Lucas called his son's name several times with no answer.

"Is anybody out there?" Lucas called and then he suddenly saw a broken section of fence that kept the animals from walking off the edge.

"Mark?!" Lucas desperately yelled. As he approached the damaged fence he saw that it looked like something had rammed through it. Lucas dismounted and carefully approached the edge of the cliff. He was a bit more relaxed, thinking an animal had gone over the edge and Mark had gone down and around on foot since it was too steep for a horse. Lucas looked over the edge but was not prepared for the sight he saw. Twenty feet down, Lucas saw his son lying motionless on his back, barely on the ledge enough to keep himself from plummeting to the canyon floor.

"Mark!?" Lucas called again, hoping somehow his son would answer. Lucas took a step back and tried to clear his brain.

'Focus McCain! What's the best way to handle this?' Lucas grabbed his lasso from Razor, then Mark's lasso from Blue Boy. He securely tied the two together, then tied one end tightly around a tree, running everywhere he went. Lucas tied the other end around his waist, then began to carefully make his way down the canyon wall.

"Mark, if you can hear me, I need you to tell me..." Lucas continued to call to his son. Lucas finally reached Mark, and said a short prayer of thanks when he saw the boy was weakly breathing. Lucas picked up his son... he knew it was risky, but there wasn't anything else he could do to get Mark off the ledge. Lucas hoped he was right when he didn't seem find a neck or spine injury. Carefully, Lucas made his way the rest of the way down the canyon wall. The father lovingly and worriedly called to his boy as he began the long walk back up to where the horses where. Mark had several bruises and scrapes along his body, and it looked like his right arm and leg where broken. Upon seeing blood on his son's head, Lucas hoped Mark hadn't cracked his skull, which had been weak since outlaws had tried to kill him years before. Lucas carefully but quickly got Mark into Razor's saddle and then mounted up behind his son. Lucas wanted to race straight into town, but he had to pass the ranch anyway and the buck board would be a much safer choice, considering Mark's condition. After riding into the yard, Lucas picked his son up and carried him to the back board. After situating Mark, Lucas hitched the team and raced into town.

Micah saw Lucas ride into town and started to wave, but saw his friend's face... and then the boy he considered a grandson in the back of the wagon.

"David!" Micah yelled as he walked back into the office. "Go out to Oat Jackford's place and get Doc, Now! Something happened to Mark!"

"What happened?"

"Forget it, just ride!" Micah ordered as he shooed the man out of the office. Micah ran down the street and began to help Lucas get Mark out of the back of the wagon.

"Doc!" Lucas was hollering as Micah grabbed Mark's legs.

"Out at Jackford's, I sent David for him. What happened Lucas-boy?"

"Mark must've fallen... I found him on a ledge twenty feet down out at one of the canyons on the property. Something rammed the fence down, he must've been trying to fix it."

The two men carried Mark inside and set him on the examining table. Lucas began to take Mark's boots off while Micah took off his shirt.

"Lucas, look at this..." Micah said, pointing to the boy's back. "Barbed wire?" Micah asked when Lucas had come over and seen the ugly scratches on Mark's back.

"But how could he have gotten tangled in barbed wire?" Lucas asked.

"You said the fence looked like something rammed through it... do you think somehow he did?"

"It's possible." Lucas stated. He and Micah continued to clean Mark up and disinfected what they could.

Once Doc Burrage finally arrived, he set Mark's arm and leg and examined the rest of his body. The three men where able to carefully move Mark to the back room, where the doctor told Lucas to sit.

"Well Lucas, looks like your boy's gotten out of dishes for a few weeks." The doctor said half laughing, trying to ease the tension.

"Will he be alright?" Lucas asked.

"In time. Twenty feet is a long way to fall. He's broken two ribs, cracked several more, broken an arm and leg, cracked his head open... thankfully not his skull, and took out a few layers of skin all over his back with something... almost looks like barbed wire. We'll need to watch his back to make sure there's no infection. He probably has a nice concussion, as well.

"Are you sure he'll..." Lucas didn't want to suggest it out loud.

"He'll pull through, Lucas. It'll be a rough few months, but Mark will pull through. He's like you, as stubborn-"

"As a mule, I know. Thanks Doc..."

"Not a problem Lucas."

"When..." Lucas began to ask.

"Time will tell, but honestly probably not at least until tomorrow morning. You really should go over to the hotel and get something to eat, and some sleep even though it's early."

"Not a chance." Lucas simply stated.

"I'll get you something, Lucas-boy." Micah offered as he and the doctor turned to leave the room.

"Thanks Micah. And would you please tell Lou what happened? We where supposed to meet her for dinner."

"Sure thing." Micah said before closing the door. Lucas heavily sighed as he ran his fingers through his son's hair.

"Oh, Mark..." Lucas whispered.

"Lou, I need an order of your beef stew to take over to Doc's." Micah said as he entered the hotel and was greeted by the Irish hotel owner.

"Alrighty, I'll have one of the boys bring it to Doc Burrage for ye so ye don't have ta wait."

"Lou, you may want to bring it over yourself, it's not for Doc."

"Then who's it for? Is Mrs. Humphrey having trouble with her pregnancy again? The poor woman, six children already and another on the way. Why there was one lass I knew-"

"Lou, it's for Lucas. He and Mark can't join you for dinner."

"Lucas?!" Lou exclaimed in her Irish brouge. "What on earth tis Lucas doin' at Doc's?"

"Mark took a fall over a canyon wall at the ranch..."

"Will he be alright?"

"Doc said he would be fine, although from the looks of the boy you wouldn't think so. Doc Burrage is taking a strangely calm attitude about the whole thing."

"The boy's made quite a habit of scaring us-you all the past several months and pulling through just fine." Oat Jackford, who had entered the hotel shortly after Micah interjected.

"Oh don't pretend ye aren't concerned for the boy. Ye have a soft spot for him and we all know it." Lou stated, then turned to Micah. "I'll bring some food over for Lucas and Doc... will Mark be needing anything?"

"Not now, Doc Burrage said he probably won't wake up until tomorrow morning."

"What about ye? Do ye want anything Micah?"

"No thanks, Lou, maybe later after I make my rounds and check in on Mark again." Micah said as he waved and left the hotel.

"I suppose ye'll be headed back to your homestead since ye know the boy is alright?" Lou said teasingly to Oat as she turned to go to the kitchen.

"Ms. Mallory, you know very well I don't have a soft spot for anyone!" Oat yelled to the back, a little too loudly, and got several smirks from the restaurant.

"Lucas, how is Mark?" Lou asked as she entered the back room of the office.

"Doc says he'll be fine, I'd feel a lot better if Mark would wake up..." Lucas quietly replied.

"I brought ye something ta eat. Ye better eat it all seeing as how ye stood me up." Lou teased, but saw that Lucas wasn't in the mood for a joke. "Well I best get back to the hotel, I'll come back tomorrow to see how Mark's doing. If ye need anything Cowboy, just ask..."

"Thank you, Lou." Lucas said as he stood and walked Lou to the door of the room.

Lucas sat back down in the chair and slightly smiled as he reminisced about a week prior, when a bunch of hay was flung in his face.

\"Sorry Pa! I didn't mean to, honest! I was just working and thinking and didn't see you come in and..."

"Mark, it's hay, it's fine." Lucas chuckled. "What where you so deep in thought about?"

"...The time you got shot up in Harrisonville..."

"What about it?" Lucas asked as he grabbed the second pitchfork and began helping his son.

"Well, I don't really know... I suppose-"

"Lucas?" Micah called as he entered the yard.

"Be right back, Mark." Lucas said as he went to greet his friend.\

Lucas realized that he wasn't just missing something about what had happened in Harrisonville, but whatever it was, was beginning to eat Mark up. They hadn't really talked too terribly much about the incident and as Lucas recalled the times it had been brought up, his son would get a very distant, almost a frightened look in his eye. Why hadn't he recognized that look before? In all the time since Harrisonville, why hadn't he brought it up with Mark and talked about it? Was there something wrong between them Mark had been hiding? Worries, doubts, and fears began crawling into Lucas' mind as his heavy eye lids fought to bring him to sleep.

Mark slowly opened his heavy eyelids only to quickly cover his eyes with his left hand, blocking the light from the lamp on the desk next to him. He wanted to look around and figure out where he was, but the light made his head hurt even worse. Mark tried to think about the small section of room he had seen, weather or not he recognized it, but his head hurt too much to think. Mark called for his Pa several times but received no answer... He didn't know if he should be glad his father wasn't hovering over him worried or concerned that Lucas wasn't there. He wondered what had happened, but didn't try to think it through. Mark's thoughts where all jumbled and his mind was working too slow to try to figure it out.

Mark tried to just get back to sleep. His back felt like it was being pricked by needles, his body was sore all over, the casts on his right arm and leg where itchy, but most of all his head hurt. After about ten minutes, Mark finally felt like he was starting to drift to sleep... until he heard a door shut in the front office, then a slam and a woman yelling a few seconds later.

"Lucas McCain I ought ta hog tie ye! Ye've got ta eat somethin'! What twould ye be tellin Mark if'n he where the one refusing ta eat for an entire day? Ye wouldn't hear of it!"

"Well it's not Mark refusing to eat, now is it? As a matter of fact, Mark is actually in that room, where I should be as well. Thank you for your concern Lou."

"Lucas! Ye won't do that boy any good if ye waste away!"

"Lou, I'm just not hungry, I'll eat something later."

"That boy of yours better wake up soon... or I will have Micah lock ye in jail till ye eat!" Mark then heard the front office door slam again, which made him wince at the pain it caused in his head. After the ringing stopped, Mark removed his hand and placed it on the bed.

"He better wake up soon..." Lucas sighed, too quietly for Mark to decipher, as he entered the back room of the doctor's office.

"So I'm guessing we're at Doc's?" Mark asked without opening his eyes. Lucas froze in a squatting position above the chair.

"Mark?" Lucas asked, unsure Mark was awake because his eyes where still closed.

"Yeah, Pa?" Mark replied, unsure of the expression his Pa held. Lucas hesitated, he didn't know what to ask first. Lucas took his son's hand in his own and sat down.

"How do you feel?" Lucas asked.

"Sore all over... my back kinda feels like it got scratched up... but most of all my head hurts... really, really bad." Mark said as he took his hand out of his father's and rubbed his head.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Everything's fuzzy..."

"Try to think, do you remember working yesterday afternoon?"

"...Pa, I'm sorry, I just can't think straight"

"That's alright, son." Lucas said in a positive tone as he put his hand on Mark's shoulder. "I'm going to go get Doc from the restaurant, I'll be right back."

"Pa, I can wait till he finishes his dinner."

"He said to get him as soon as you woke up, and even if he hadn't there would be no waiting. I want to make sure you'll recover fine." Lucas said as he stood. Mark wanted to argue, but Mark knew his Pa needed Doc's assurance and didn't contradict his father.

"Alright, Pa." Mark said as Lucas walked across and out of the room.

'Boy, my head hurts...' was all Mark could think.

Lucas quickly walked out of the office and across the street. He didn't know why Mark wouldn't open his eyes, but it was making him worried. He was relieved that Mark was able to move, the doctor wasn't sure if there had been nerve damage or not, but that didn't make him less concerned about his son not opening his eyes.

"Lucas?" Doc Burrage asked when he looked up from his dinner, seeing Lucas beside him.

"Mark woke up, Doc." Lucas replied.

"How does he seem to be doing?" The doctor asked as he stood, placed the money on the table, and began with to walk with Lucas.

"He says he's sore, back hurts from the barbed wire, and has a headache... Doc, he didn't open his eyes at all. We had a conversation before I came to get you. He didn't open his eyes or say anything about it... I don't know what's wrong. What happened?"

"I don't know Lucas. Did you ask him about it or ask him to open his eyes?"

"No... I didn't want to some how upset him or worry him."

"Well I'll check them out first thing when we get in there."

Lucas and the doctor made there way to the office, a little too slow for Lucas' liking. As the doctor and Lucas entered the room, Mark turned his head and opened his eyes to see who was there out of habit, but quickly drew his hand to his eyes again.

"Mark, are your eyes bothering you?" The doctor asked.

"No sir, just the light makes my head hurt a lot more than it already does."

"Alright, I'll try to be quick, but I do need to make sure nothing happened and your eyes react properly to light."

"If you have to..." Mark sighed.

"Lucas, everything is fine with his eyes." The doctor said after examining them. Lucas breathed a sigh of relief, which made Mark realize what his Pa had thought.

"I'm sorry Pa, I should've said something. When I woke up the light was hurting my head so I shut them and kept 'em closed when you came in." Mark said regretfully.

"It's alright, Mark." Lucas replied as he put a reassuring hand on Mark's shoulder.

The doctor examined Mark again, asking him questions and making sure he hadn't missed anything. Doc Burrage recapped the full extent of Mark's injuries and then sent Lucas to get something for him and his son to eat.

Three days later, doc Burrage sent Mark home with Lucas with strict instructions for Mark to be on bed rest. He couldn't use the crutches with his broken arm anyway, and warned them it would be a long recovery.

A few days after Mark was sent home, he and Lucas where eating dinner together when Lucas was reminded again of some things Mark had said about the Harrisonville incident.

"Mark, remember when I got shot up in Harrisonville?"

"Yeah..."

"When it's been brought up you've said some things I'm wondering about."

"Like what, Pa?"

"You and I where talking over the break from school and I just realized the other day what you said. Something about the doctor not letting you see me?"

"Yeah? And?" Mark asked, confused why his Pa didn't just say what he was confused- "We never talked about that...?" Mark asked and stated.

"No, we didn't. Care to explain?"

"Well by the time Micah brought me to Harrisonville it had been most of two weeks since I had seen you, I had already been really worried, but then Micah said you where injured and everything seemed to stop. The doctor in Harrisonville told me I couldn't see you until you woke up and said it was ok, Micah tried to reason with the doctor but he wouldn't listen... had to do with his own father dying. You know about me getting kidnapped, and by the time I came back... I couldn't take it anymore... not knowing for sure you where still alive. I was starting to question weather the doctor and Micah where telling the truth, and wondering if they where trying to figure out how to tell me that you had... died." Mark paused a moment before continuing. "...I snuck around behind the doctor's office and came into your room through the window and spent the night by you. Micah said once the doctor saw the two of us asleep together he completely changed his thinking and decided to let us be. " Mark said slowly and carefully, as if he was thinking through something else as well.

"What else happened that night?" Lucas asked, knowing there was more.

"Pa, I... I'm sorry..." Mark said as his eyes began to moisten.

"Sorry about what?"

"That I ever thought about...giving up on you and for not believing Micah. I guess that's why I fought so hard to get back to you and get you help when I got lost in the woods a few months back. I couldn't lose hope like I did then, I felt so bad about not keeping faith... wanting something to change so bad that I almost let myself..." Mark didn't think he could continue.

"Mark, talk to me." Lucas said as he sat next to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Looking up at Lucas, Mark continued.

"Pa, I almost killed myself... I couldn't take it any more! I told Micah I was going to the doctor's, but I was planning on going to the livery and ending my life... our life together, there. Something stopped me and I did go to the doctor's, just entered your room through the window when I saw you. I'm sorry Pa... If I had gone through with it..."

"But you where smart enough not to. Mark..." Lucas didn't know how to ask his son his question. "Do you ever... think about... or want to..."

"No, Pa, I haven't since then." Mark interrupted, not wanting to make his Pa say it out loud. "You know there have been times I've been kidnapped or something and I won't eat or will let my health go, but I haven't... haven't wanted to kill myself since then. I'm... I'm sorry I did, Pa." Lucas took Mark in his arms and let a tear fall down his own cheek.

"Promise me you won't ever..."

"I promise, Pa."

"I love you, Mark."

Seven weeks after Lucas and Mark talked, Mark was allowed to go back to school after getting his casts off. Light scars on his back was all that remained as evidence to Mark's accident. Mark was quite excited to be getting back to school, something that surprised Lucas just a little less than it would have if Mark had been a year younger. Mr. Griswold had been bringing over lessons for Mark so there wasn't too much he had to catch up on, he just had to stay for thirty minutes after school each day so Steven could work with him a little.

One day two men showed up at the school stating they where thinking about settling their families in North Fork and wanted to see the town and its school. They where very polite and Mr. Griswold welcomed them to stay and observe class. When lunch time rolled around they chatted with some of the children, asking how they liked the school and the town. At three-thirty Mr. Griswold let Mark leave with rest of the students, and offered to show the two men the town. They where very appreciative and accepted his offer.

"We'll work tomorrow after school, but after that you should be caught up, Mark. Head home for today." Steven told Mark, who said a quick thanks and left the building.

"Who's that?" One of the men asked. "Seemed like a pretty bright student."

"Mark McCain. One of my best students, though you wouldn't have thought it possible last year... he used to hate learning with a passion. He had an accident that kept him out of school for two months, so I've been working with him after school to help him catch up."

"If it's inconvenient for you to show us around, we can find our way around by ourselves."

"Oh no, it's quite alright. We'll finish up tomorrow if I feel he really needs it, but I don't think he will. He has a long enough ride home as it is."

"Live far?"

"About three miles out of town, farther than most children around here. Most of them live in town. But as the town grows I think we'll be getting more families out on the range."

"Wes and I are hoping to start some cattle ranches and move our families ' Out on the range' as you put it. If all goes well I hope we are the first of many to come."

"Well then, you may want to talk with Mark's father and Oat Jackford. Both are cattle ranchers around here. I'll tell you how to get to there places if you'd like?" Mr. Griswold offered.

"We'd be much obliged." Wes stated.

"Aren't you home a bit early?" Lucas asked as Mark rode into the yard.

"Visitors in town thinking about settling around here. Mr. Griswold offered to show them around and said we'd finish any more catching up I needed tomorrow."

"And how are your studies going?"

"Good. I feel like I can finally understand what he's teaching the rest of the kids my age."

"Well, supper will be ready in about an hour. Go ahead and start on your chores."

Mark was coming out of the barn when he saw two riders approaching the house. He soon recognised them as the two men who had visited the school that day and made his way into the house.

"Pa, we've got company. The two men I told you visited the school today are riding up."

"Set two more places, Mark. I'll go talk to them." Lucas replied. Mark saw his Pa pick up the rifle before leaving the house and didn't think anything of it. Lucas never left the house without his rifle, even if Micah was the one he was greeting.

"Hello." Lucas said in a friendly manner as the two men dismounted. The shorter of the two stepped forward and shook Lucas' hand as he spoke.

"Hello Mr. McCain, Stevan Griswold said we should speak with you. My name is Wes Talley and this is my friend, Josh Hanks." The second man also extended his arm and shook Lucas' hand before speaking.

"We're considering moving our families to North Fork and starting up a cattle ranch together. Wanted to see the town, it's school, and land before hauling our whole families out here. Steven suggested we talk with you about getting some cattle but also what raisin' a family out here is like."

"Would you join us for supper? I've already told Mark to set two extra places." Lucas offered.

"We wouldn't want to intrude, I'm sure your Mrs. wasn't expecting company..." Wes said.

"No intrusion, it's just Mark and myself... my wife died a long time ago."

"I'm sorry." Both men offered simultaneously.

"No need to apologize, as long as you'll stay for supper." Lucas cheerfully stated.

"We'd be much obliged." Josh said. The men turned to walk into the house.

Throughout the course of the meal, Lucas answered the men's various questions and offered advice for starting their ranches. Mark was very pleased to hear that Wes had a boy close to his own age, among several other children. At the end of the night, Lucas and Mark stood on the porch waving goodbye to the men as they rode away.

"Won't it be great having two new families out here, Pa?"

"Well son, yes it would, but they could buy land on the other sides of North Fork as well."

"You told them yourself the best land is around here... and the only piece of land for sale big enough for them is next to our property."

"True, but just don't get your hopes up, plans change you know. It would be nice, though." Lucas put an arm on the porch post and sighed as he looked off into the distance. Mark saw the tiny amount of sadness his Pa's eyes held.

"...Something the matter, Pa?" Mark asked, pretty sure he knew what was wrong but didn't want to say it. "Pa?" Mark asked as he moved towards his Pa when Lucas didn't answer.

"Huh? Sorry son." Lucas said as he put a hand on Mark's shoulder. "Just thinking about your Ma..."

"I miss her too." Mark said as the father and son turned and entered their home.

Mr. Griswold only had to work with Mark for about fifteen minutes before letting him go home. Mark was a bright boy and no longer needed extra help, without Mark realising it, Stevan had helped Mark advance a little farther along than most students because he was learning so quickly. Wes and Josh stopped in at the school house to thank Mr. Griswold before leaving town and rode up as Mark was mounting up.

"You heading home, Mark?" Josh asked.

"Yes sir, Mr. Griswold says I've caught up fine and won't need to stay after school any longer." Mark excitedly explained.

"Well tell your Pa we said thank you and we'll be seeing him in about two months. Hopefully we'll be able to invite you two for a supper before too long." Wes stated.

"Thanks Mr. Talley, have a good trip!" Mark said before waving and riding off.

It was dark, it was raining, and Mark was several hours overdue... a scenario Lucas was far too familiar with. The worried father finally retrieved a pen, ink well, and piece of paper and wrote his son a note before placing his hat on his head, grabbing his rifle, and walking out to the barn to quickly saddle Razor and ride for town.

Lucas' first stop was the school, but found it dark inside and locked, so he continued into town praying he would find his son there.

"Micah, have you seen Mark today?" Lucas asked as he entered the Marshals office.

"Saw him before school this morning, but that's all... why?"

"He's late coming home and I don't have a clue where he is." Lucas said as he turned and walked back out of the office. Micah took his shotgun with him when he left the office to follow after Lucas who was headed towards the hotel.

"Lou?" Lucas called as he entered the building. "Lou?" Lucas called louder.

"What is it Cowboy? Ye trying to scare me costumers away?"

"Lou, have you seen Mark this afternoon?" Lucas worriedly asked.

"I haven't seen Mark since yesterday mornin', is he missing?"

"Just late coming home." Micah calmly assured her, trying not to rile the Irish hotel owner.

"Several hours late and it's pouring buckets out there!" Lucas declared as he stared at Micah in disbelief at his calmness before leaving the hotel. Micah continued to follow Lucas around town as he asked various people if they had seen his son. Steven Griswold said Mark had headed home at three forty-five when they where done, which made Lucas even more concerned. While heading back to the ranch, Lucas and Micah checked fishing holes, short cuts, hideouts, caves, and anywhere else they could think of, but found no sign of Mark.

Lucas' heart dropped as he approached his home and saw that no lamps had been lit.

"Could be he went to bed..." Micah suggested knowing his friend's thoughts.

A little part of Lucas seemed to die as he searched his home and found no sign that his son had even been there.

"I won't write it!" Mark yelled as he pushed the piece of paper away.

"You will!" Wes yelled back as he cocked the hammer of his gun, which was pointed towards Mark's head.

"I don't care what you do to me, I won't do it!" Mark sharply replied.

"Boy, you listen here..." Wes said as he grabbed Mark's collar.

"Leave him be." Josh said from the corner of the room. "He wants his Pa to die, that's the way it'll be."

"What are you talking about?" Mark angrily asked.

"You write that note, or we'll kill your Pa so we don't have to worry about him." Josh answered as he walked to the table and leaned on the edge opposite from Mark.

Mark glared at the man across from him.

"You wouldn't have the guts." Mark said, hoping to call a bluff.

"I would. I don't have anything to lose... in fact I'd have everything to gain by killing your Pa. Him out of the way, no one would ever miss you. Wes, go get Rodriguez, tell him we ride-"

"I'll write it." Mark said through his teeth as he grabbed the pen and pulled the paper closer.

After Mark finished, he handed the paper to Josh.

"Wait a minute, what's all this extra stuff?" He asked.

"I wrote you a believable note, you don't have need to kill my Pa." Mark dryly explained.

"Fair enough. Wes go deliver this."

"Lucas, get some rest. I'll bed Razor down and we'll start looking first thing in the morning."

"But by the time-"

"Lucas, you know you won't do Mark any good out there tonight. It's too dark and too wet." Micah took Razor's reigns and led the two horses to the barn. He sighed as he looked in Blue Boy's empty stall but then something caught his eye. Micah only read the first sentence before tearing the paper off the nail and running into the house.

Lucas' thoughts where interrupted when Micah came tearing into the house.

"Lucas, you need to read this!" Micah said as he handed Lucas the note. Micah watched as his friends face changed from confusion to complete defeat... then confusion again.

"Lucas?" Micah asked as the father stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

"Micah, did you read this?"

"Only the first sentence... I didn't want to intrude..."

"Read it... this doesn't make sense." Lucas said as he handed Micah the note.

Pa,

I can't live with things like this between us any more, I want to be with my Ma. I should've done us both a favor and gone through with it in Jacksonville. We both know you've hated me since the day I was born... the day Ma died giving birth to me. I'm sorry I was so much trouble, you won't have to worry about me any more. Ask Milly to let the hawk go, it should fly north this time of year. Tell Billy I said I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye before he moved out east, and that I will miss our sleepovers in the hunting cabin.

Goodbye Pa,

Mark

"Mark is trying to tell me something." Lucas said when Micah looked up.

"What do you mean? It sounds like Mark wanted to... kill himself and did..."

"Micah aren't just a few things wrong with that letter?" Lucas asked the Marshal.

"I don't see what you mean." Micah stated in defeat.

"First sign that something is up was that Mark said Jacksonville. The only time he's wanted to... commit suicide... was in Harrisonville."

"What?!" Micah exclaimed, unaware of Mark's real mental state in the town.

"Secondly, his mother didn't die giving birth to him. She died when he was six. Milly is gone, Mark doesn't have a hawk, Billy moved North, and they never had sleepovers in a hunting cabin."

"Why write a note like this?"

"He wouldn't unless someone has him and made him write the note."

"So, what? You think he's being held in some cabin North East of here?"

"It's a start." Lucas said as he grabbed his rifle and walked out to the barn. Micah followed, only after grabbing Lucas' rain coat.

"You can't seriously be thinking about going out there now? You need rest, it's pouring, and-"

"And nothing, Micah. My boy is out there somewhere obviously asking for help, my help."

"Lucas-boy, you'll be no good-"

"Micah, you know you can't stop me, that's why you grabbed my coat. I have a responsibility to protect my son and I'll do it any way I can. He's my boy, and asking me to help him get out of whatever trouble he's in. Mark needs me right now and I'm going to do anything I can to be there for him. As a father I'm obligated to look for him, but as his Pa I'm going to find him, and if that means riding in the saddle through the night in the rain, I'll do it."

"...Right behind you Lucas-boy."

"Get up, boy!" Mark heard as a kick to his chest sent searing pain through his rib cage. He quickly sat up, not wanting to be kicked again, but felt the pain from the knot on the back of his head.

"Where are we?" Mark asked, realizing they weren't at the cabin anymore, simply camped out somewhere in the woods.

"You're on a need-to-know basis, and right now, you don't need to know. Get mounted up on your horse, and don't give us trouble like you did last night, I'm not afraid to knock you out again." Wes replied. As Mark got up into the saddle, he tried to think of a way to escape, but couldn't. Especially since the one they had called Rodriguez was tying Mark's hands to the saddle horn.

"That's too tight!" Mark tried to bluff, which only got the ropes really tied on too tight. As Mark's legs where being tied to the stirrup, he asked himself if his chances of escaping could be any slimmer.

'I guess they could.' Mark thought as Wes brought out a blindfold. Mark tried to fight the restraints, but Wes got tired of his squirming and hit Mark across the face.

"Wes!" Josh exclaimed.

"The boss won't mind a little slap or to." Wes said to Josh, then turned to face Mark. "Stay still or you'll get the beating of your life!" He ordered. Too dazed from the force of the blow to argue, Mark gave in.

As they rode, Mark tried to get Blue Boy to either ride heavier on one side or go off the road a little every once in a while, but because he couldn't see what he was doing or direct Blue Boy's reigns, nothing really worked too well.

As they where resting the horses, Mark heard another rider come up and listened closely as the men talked. The new man's voice sounded a lot like his Pa's, but it lacked... the tenderness his father's voice had.

"Only one?"

"I know the boss ain't gonna be too happy but it was all we could do." Josh sighed.

"Looks kinda scrawny... He ain't gonna be too happy 'bout that either."

"Don't let his looks fool you, that kid can pick up quite a load." Josh said.

"Has a mean punch too." Rodriguez said as he rubbed his jaw.

"I'll have fun house breaking him then, won't I?" The newcomer stated in a sickening tone.

As dawn was breaking, Micah and Lucas came across an old cabin and cautiously made their way inside.

"Looks like somebody was here recently." Micah commented. They made a thorough search of the cabin, but found no indication that Mark had been there. Lucas went outside, looking for tracks but found none due to the rain. As they where mounting up to leave, Lucas' eye caught the sun's reflection off of something on the ground. He got back off his horse and picked up the object.

"Micah, Mark was here!" Lucas exclaimed.

"What is it Lucas?" Micah asked as he too dismounted and walked to where Lucas squatted.

"Mark's pocket watch. The one he saved up to get by working for our neighbor... Micah, Mark was here!" Lucas exclaimed again, wavering between hope and defeat. On one hand, his son hadn't tried to kill himself, but on the other it appeared someone had his son... Lucas didn't know why or who or even how to find them because any trail they might have left had been washed out.

"Lucas, let's ride back to town and get some supplies. We'll get a couple men together and ride out first thing tomorrow morning and spread out looking for him." Micah suggested.

"Tomorrow morning?"

"It'll be late afternoon by the time we get back to town, we both need the rest and other men can't ride in the dark." Frustrated at the situation, Lucas gave in to his friend.

"First thing tomorrow morning."

"Good morning, Marshal. I'm U.S. Marshal Sam Buckheart and was wondering if you could give me some information."

"What do you need to know?" The friendly middle-aged Marshal replied.

"I'm looking for two men, Wes Talley and Josh Hanks. One is about your height, medium build, Brown hair and eyes. The second is about six-one, Brown hair, blue eyes. You seen any men fitting their description?"

"Well you just described about half this town, but a few weeks back we did have two men come through town and ended up spending a night in our jail for disturbing the peace after getting drunk. Those where the names they gave me, no identification. What are they wanted for?"

"They're not officially wanted... yet, or there would be flyers out for them. Some strange things tend to happen in the town's they visit."

"Like what?"

"Seems every town they visit there is a disappearance of at least one young man, usually two or three."

"Well, no one's disappeared from around here."

"I'm glad to hear it. Do you happen to know where they where headed next?"

"Didn't say. Rode out to the South."

"Thank you for your time, Marshal."

Micah and Lucas returned to North Fork and gathered supplies and men. Micah sent Lucas to the hotel to get something to eat and a room while he went to the telegraph office to have a wire sent out informing nearby towns to be on the lookout for Mark.

As Lucas laid on his bed that night, his thoughts remained solely on Mark. What had happened? Where was he? Who had him?

'Will I ever see him again?'

When they finally arrived at a large ranch, Mark's blindfold was removed and he took in his surroundings. In front of him was a large white house that had four tall white pillars in front. Nearby was a little well taken care of barn with boys around Mark's age walking in and out of it, performing various tasks. Whoever the fourth man was that had joined them was riding into the barn with his back towards Mark. Wes was roughly untying Mark's restraints and proceeded to pull him out of the saddle.

"Come on boy." He ordered as he grabbed Mark's arm and began to practically drag him into the house. Mark took notice of how clean the house was, as well as the expensive tapestries that lined the long hallways. Mark was taken into a big office where a well dressed man sat behind a large oak desk.

"This is it from North Fork." Wes began. "All the others couldn't possibly pull enough weight or lived too close to town."

"He doesn't look like he could do much." The man stated.

"He's slight of build, but I've seen him work, he'll suit our needs fine." Wes assured him. Mark didn't like the way these men where talking and his eyes started darting around the room looking for a way to escape.

"Give you any trouble?"

"Gave Rodriguez a blow across the jaw, and gave me a bruise or two." Wes said, laughing at Mark's attempts to get away.

"You got spirit boy, that's good." The man said to Mark, then turned back to Wes. "Any family we need to worry-" Knowing it was probably now or never, Mark bolted for the door and started running down the hallway. Wes was calmly ordered to go after Mark and bring him back to the office. Mark didn't bother looking back to see how close Wes was, he just kept running until he suddenly bumped into-

"Pa!" Mark exclaimed. "Pa what are you-" Mark stopped short as the man he had thought was his father roughly grabbed his arm and began dragging him back towards the office.

"I ain't your Pa, kid." The man said. It was the same voice he had heard when they had been riding and someone joined them.

"B-Bantry?" Mark said as he looked for a scar on the clean shaven man's face, but didn't find one.

"I ain't no Bantry either. You best learn to behave, I'm in charge of discipline around here and you're already on my bad side." The man said as he gave Mark a hard slap across the face and shoved him back into the office. The other man still sat behind his desk and told the one who had brought Mark in to go get Wes and come back with him.

"So, I have a trouble maker on my hands. Rodgers loves trouble makers as you can see, and he'd be so happy to make the rest of your life here miserable. Trying to run away in the first five minutes of your stay just earned you no supper, so you can start on the evening shift that Rodgers is in charge of."

"What do you want with me?"

"Free labor quite frankly. Good help is so hard to get these days, so I have Wes and Josh search for the best of the best. Being picked by them is quite an honor, actually, you should be proud of yourself."

"Let me go or my Pa-"

"Your father thinks you killed yourself, remember?" Wes asked as he entered with Rodgers.

"I included details in my letter and you don't know if they are true or not, remember?" Mark said in a mocking voice. Without hesitation, Rodgers gave Mark a hard blow to the stomach which sent him into the chair he stood in front of.

"Now, that wasn't very respectful." The man behind the desk stood and walked around to where Mark sat. Once he had picked Mark up by the collar, he continued. "You are to do what you're told, when you're told to do it, with no back talk. Do I make myself clear?" Mark nodded his head.

"Yes what?" Rodgers asked from behind him.

"Yes... yes sir." Mark said, glaring at the man in front of him. Mark's stare told Gumphry, the one who still was clenching Mark's collar, that this was going to be a hard boy to break.

"Rodgers, take him and start the evening shift."

"There isn't one scheduled tonight, no moon."

"Well then it looks like you're going to have some fun tonight, just you and the boy. Put him to work somewhere, anywhere." Gumphry said as he pushed Mark towards Rodgers, who grabbed Mark's arm and pulled him out of the office.

"I can walk by myself." Mark stated as he tried to get out of Rodgers' grasp.

"Boy, you just don't get it, do you?" Rodgers asked as he whipped Mark around to face him. "You are in my control. I can do whatever I want with you, Gumphry doesn't care as long as work gets done around here. Your time here can be pain free or pain filled, I suggest you learn to cooperate."

"If I do... cooperate... when do I get to go home?" Rodgers laughed.

"Boy, this is your home." Mark began to struggle again and tried to get out of Rodgers' grasp, but only received several slaps on his face. Rodgers pulled Mark into a small shack, retrieved chains, and proceeded to put them on Mark's boots. They walked a little farther and Rodgers instructed Mark to start moving a bunch of rocks off the middle of the trail. Mark worked for several hours before he had finally cleared the trail.

"Good, now put them back."

"Put them back?! Why?" Mark argued.

"Because I said so." Rodgers said after giving Mark another blow to the cheek. Mark wanted to lash back so badly, but even though he knew it wasn't his Pa, he couldn't bring himself to hit the man... it would've been like hitting his Pa.

The sun was giving a little light to the sky as Mark was finishing up. Wes rode up and talked quietly with Rodgers before turning around.

"Let's go, boy." Rodgers said.

"Where?"

"To the kitchen. Wes says you can cook."

"Yeah, so?"

"So our cook is sick. You're gonna fix us some breakfast." Mark wanted to argue and mouth off so bad, but he had another idea. He was going to show these men he wasn't going to be broken.

"Yes sir." He respectfully replied.

The large group of men rode to the cabin Lucas and Micah had found the night prior. They split up into groups and where ready to begin searching the area.

"Meet back here by dark." Micah concluded. Lucas' horse was the first one to leave the cabin, and everyone else quickly headed out as well.

In defeat, Lucas tied Razor to the hitching post in front of the cabin. He hoped that just maybe someone had found something. He waited for everyone to get back, asking each group if they had found any sign of Mark. John Hamilton came over the rise with his two companions and quickly rode over to Lucas. Lucas became even more concerned as he recognized the hat John handed him.

"Lucas, we found Mark's hat about three hours from here. We searched all over, but the rain has washed out any tracks that where left. Lucas, I'm sorry." Lucas asked for directions and John hesitated, but told him how to get to where they found it. Lucas began to mount up and Micah tried to stop him.

"Lucas-boy, you can't go out there now. Even if they did miss something, it's too dark-"

"Micah, he's my son. I'm not giving up on him. I appreciate you all coming out to help, go on home to your families." Lucas said as he mounted up and rode away. Most of the men headed back to North Fork, but Micah and John headed out after Lucas.

"I told you to go home." He called over his shoulder.

"I don't have a family." John replied.

"You and Mark are my family." Micah hollered back.

After two days in the saddle with no further sign of Mark, Lucas finally gave in and headed back to North Fork.

"Rodgers, get that kid and give him the beating of his life!" Gumphry yelled.

"My pleasure." He said after spitting out the rest of the food in his mouth. Rodgers made his way to the kitchen where he found Mark staring him down in defiance.

"You think you're going to get away with a stunt like that?!" Rodgers yelled as he grabbed Mark's arm and dragged him out of the building. Mark had heard Gumphry's order and knew what was coming. He tried to get away from Rodgers, but his grip was too firm.

With every kick, punch, or slap Mark received, he prayed for the strength to survive. Every time Mark looked up, he saw his Pa beating on him. That hurt more than the beating itself.

As the days turned into weeks, Mark was finding it hard not to give up. He didn't want to give in, he didn't want these monsters to break him, but he was so tired... all the other boys had given in, why shouldn't he? The relentless beatings... the slaps for no reason... he didn't know how much longer he could hang on.

"Micah?" Marshal Buckheart called as he entered the office.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Micah asked as he smiled for the first time since Mark had disappeared.

"Following a lead for a case, need to ask you some questions."

"It takes a case to get you out here to see me? I see how it is."

"I was planning on stopping by weather the case went this way or not." Sam said with a smile.

"Let's get the business over with. What'd you need to ask me?"

"I'm looking for two men. Wes Talley and Josh thanks. One has-"

"Came through a few weeks ago, thinking about settling their families out here. Why are you after them?"

"Right now I'm just trying to follow their trail and catch up with them, can't take them in on anything yet. Although their activity has been next to nothing in the past few towns, I think they've been aiding someone in the kidnapping of boys from various towns, probably for cheap labor, I hope nothing more. No ransoms are being asked, no-" Sam stopped short when he looked at Micah's face. "What is it?"

"You need to talk to Lucas."

"Lucas? Why?"

"Mark disappeared a few weeks ago. He left a supposed suicide note, but Lucas knew it wasn't true because of some things Mark wrote in it. We found his watch at an old cabin, and his hat a few hours from there, but nothing else. Talley and Hanks left the same day Mark disappeared... the timing fits together perfectly, I don't know why we didn't think about it before."

"Lucas in town or at the ranch?"

"Should be at the ranch."

"Let's go then."

Once again, Lucas found himself scanning the prairie before him, hoping by some miracle he would see Mark coming over the rise. Tears welled in the rancher's eyes as he realised that he may have to accept that Mark would never be coming back home. That Mark may never forget his books in the saddle bag again, never argue about wearing a tie, never come up with a crazy idea on how to get out of washing dishes.

When Micah arrived with Sam and Lucas heard what he had to say, he didn't know how to react. Now who knew who might have his son, but that didn't help them find Mark.

"What do you plan to do, Sam?" Lucas asked, hoping Sam would have some brilliant idea that might get Lucas his son back. "We found no tracks and haven't heard from either of the men since then... looks like your trail might be cold." He continued, trying not to get his hopes up.

"Go onto the next town until I get another lead. If you find anything, wire around and try to let me know."

Sam and Micah soon left knowing the father was wanting to be alone. Lucas walked into the bedroom and sat on his son's bunk.

"Mark..." Lucas cried as he lost all composure.

As Mark worked with another boy to cut a tree down, he noticed the gaurd was losing his awareness as he drank the bottle in hand.

"Rusty, I'm running."

"Mark, you're crazy! Do you know what they'll do to you!?"

"They'd have to catch me first. The gaurd is half drunk already, by the time they realize we're gone, it'd be too late."

"We? Uh uh. I'm staying here."

"Don't you want to see your family again?"

"Yeah, and I'd like to be alive when they see me. No way, Mark."

"Will you cover for me?"

"...It's not that I don't want to..."

"Rusty, please." Mark realized he should've left without saying anything. He didn't know if he could trust Rusty not to rat on him. When no reply came, Mark took off running. Rusty did as well, but in a different direction. He went to get Rodriguez, who was off a ways guarding the water barrel.

Mark hadn't been running for long when he heard the noises of men chasing after him. Up ahead, he saw a canyon and knew there wasn't any way he could jump it, so he turned to the left and ran beside the canyon edge. Through the trees he saw men on horse back riding towards him and tried to find a way out of their sight, but didn't see any possibilities. Suddenly Mark's chainsaws caught on a fallen tree and he quickly worked to free himself as the men got closer. When he got the chain un caught he stood and turned to his right, but only bumped into Rodgers' horse. Mark let out a sigh of defeat as he stepped back and closed his eyes... he had been caught and there was no telling what they'd do to him. Rodgers dismounted and tied his lasso to Mark's hands before mounting up again and heading back to the ranch, Mark running to keep up with the horse so Rodgers didn't drag him.

When they arrived back at the ranch, Mark's hands where tied to a post above his head and Rodgers went inside to talk with Gumphry. Mark waited for three hours for them to do something with him. He noticed men bringing boys out and soon he was surrounded by everyone at the ranch. Mark knew whatever they where planning to do wasn't going to be good, and they where going to use him as an example. Gumphry came outside and walk over to where Mark was tied up.

"Boy, we've been most hospitable to you while you've been here, and yet you rebel against us every chance you have. I've had enough of this foolishness. Perhaps after today you will see how good you really have it here." Gumphry's words scared Mark, but he tried not to show it, he had to stay strong.

"You took me away from my Pa, my friends, my life! You beat on us every chance you get and make us work harder than any 'man' around here, if you're even fit to be called men!"

"Silence!" Gumphry ordered as he back handed Mark. Then he turned to address the surrounding crowd. "From now on, any breach of conduct will be punished in the following manner. If any one tries to escape again, they won't live to see the next day." Turning towards Mark, he continued. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." Mark grunted.

"Rodgers, you may begin."

Mark heard Rodgers crack the whip behind him and prepared himself for what was to come. After being whipped eight times, Mark passed out from the pain. Rodgers just kept going.

Mark was sent to clean the kitchen by himself that night. For once he would rather be doing dishes than splitting logs or doing normal ranch work, which Gumphry would've been making him do had Rodgers not be in town. Gumphry had seen Mark after he woke up that afternoon, and was in disbelief that the boy still held defiance in his eyes. So he kept Mark close to buildings and people so he wouldn't get away. Mark was able to casually start up a conversation with the gaurd who watched him. This particular gaurd, Ray, had always been just a little more lenient than the others and at times showed... compassion on some of the boys.

"So Mark, what town do you come from."

"A little town called North Fork, although with the rail road making plans to come through, it has really started growing."

"You have any siblings?"

"No, it is... it was just me and Pa."

"Was?"

"Yeah, was. Now I guess it's just Pa."

"Mark I'm sorry you had to get pulled into this..."

"You're sorry? You stand their and gaurd me and say you're sorry. You watch as me and the others are beaten and slapped, you pull us away from our families and say you're sorry."

"Wes and Josh are the-"

"You watch them do it and don't stop them. You don't go get help. You stand here stopping me from getting help. You're just as guilty as Gumphry, Rodgers, Talley, or Hanks. Don't tell me you're sorry." Mark said before he went back to his task and let his anger out on the pan he was scrubbing.

"Did I hear you right?" The Marshal asked as he stared at the man standing in front of him.

"Yes Sir. I'll take you there if you'd like."

"Why now? After three years, why come out and say something when you have nothing to lose?"

"I don't know. I guess you could say my conscience was revived by one of the boys..."

"My deputy is going to get some men together, and you will take us out there. And if this is a ruse..."

"No sir, it's not." A voice behind Ray spoke up.

Both men stared at the man neither of them had realized had been standing in the doorway the whole time.

"I've been tracking two men for the last several months and figured they had been kidnapping boys for something like this. If my hunch is correct, the two men I'm looking for will be at this ranch." Buckheart stated.

"Talley and Hanks?" Ray questioned. Buckheart nodded.

"We ride in five minutes." The confused Marshal stated.

"Boy, I'm getting sick of you!" Gumphry yelled.

"The feeling is mutual." Mark calmly retorted as he felt his face stinging.

"RODGERS!" Gumphry called. Rodgers quickly entered the office.

"I don't care WHAT you do! Beat him, starve him, whip him, I DON'T CARE! I WANT THIS BRAT BROKEN BY TOMORROW MORNING!"

Mark felt Rodgers' arms grab him from behind and pull him out of the house. A fighting Mark was dragged into one of the storage buildings.

"I've waited a long time to break a strong one. All the boys Wes and Josh bring in are too soft, too passive. Your father raised you to be a strong man, you should be proud of that. It's going to be fun breaking that man down." Mark looked into Rodgers' face. The only thing that was different from his Pa's face was how cold and callous Rodgers' eyes where.

Mark couldn't hold the screams in any longer and cried out every time Rodgers took the whip to him or served him a blow. Neither of them realised a group of riders had shown up at the ranch until they heard a gun fight begin outside. Mark was thankful for the interruption, and was even more relieved when Rodgers began tying him up, meaning he intended on leaving Mark alone for at least a little bit.

Sam saw a man emerging from a small building to his left and aimed at the man, but didn't pull the trigger.

"Lucas?!" He exclaimed, only to be shot at. A man to his right shot at the man before Buckheart could stop him. He made his way to who he thought was his friend, and breathed a sigh of defeat when he found no pulse. Knowing he needed to continue helping the rest of the men, he stood to go, but heard a noise inside the shack. Gun drawn, he carefully made his way inside.

"Mark?" Buckheart asked, vaguely remembering the young man he had met almost five years prior. The boy had changed a lot, but he still held certain features. Mark stopped trying to get out of the ropes and began slowly backing away until he hit the wall.

"Who are you?" Mark asked, completely confused at what was going on or why there was gun fire outside.

"I'm Sam Buckheart, remember me?" He asked as he slowly approached Mark, careful not to startle the boy.

"Marshal Buckheart? What are you doing here? Is Pa here?" Mark wearily asked as he let Sam begin hunting his ropes.

"Mark, I'm sorry. One of the men fired at him as he was coming out of this building... you didn't see him in here?"

"If you thought that man was my Pa, you're sorely mistaken. That was Rodgers... He was in charge of 'discipline'." It was then that for the first time, Sam realized the many abrasions and bruises on Mark. How tired and sick he looked.

"Mark, what happened?"

"Pa gave me too much of his stubbornness..." Mark mumbled before falling unconscious.

The Marshal from town and men he had deputize quickly made their way through the ranch, arresting as many as they could, killing those who gave them no choice. The Marshal had a few select men help him get the criminals to jail and the others either stayed to bury the dead or helped get the boys back to town. Once he saw that Mark was settled at the doctor's, Sam made his way to the telegraph office.

Lucas prepared to make his first ride into town since they came back from the two day ride looking for Mark. He wasn't looking forward to facing the people of the town. He first stopped to see if he had any mail or telegraphs before heading to Micah's office.

"Micah, how could I have not gone with Buckheart? It's like I've given up on Mark..."

"Lucas-boy, we all know you haven't. We talked about this before, you would've just slowed him down."

"But I need to be looking for MY boy! Micah-"

"LUCAS!" Sam, the town's telegrapher yelled as he entered the office.

"What is it?" Lucas asked.

"Mark!" He exclaimed as he handed Lucas a piece of paper.

LUCAS McCAIN

NORTH FORK, NEW MEXICO

Mark found alive /stop/

Altoona /stop/

Injured /stop/

U.S. MARSHAL SAM BUCKHEART

ALTOONA, NEW MEXICO

Without saying a word, Lucas ran out of the office, mounted Razor, and left town.

"Lucas?" Micah called after him.

"Mark is in Altoona with Marshal Buckheart. Injured, but alive." Sam explained.

Micah soon had Nils deputized and was on his way out of town as well.

The next evening as Lucas rode into Altoona, he saw Buckheart emerging from the Marshals' office.

"Sam!" He called as he rode towards his friend.

"Lucas,"

"Where's Mark?" Lucas interrupted.

"He's at the doctor's office, we need to talk first."

"No, I'm seeing my son first."

"Lucas please listen..."

"No Sam!" Lucas said as he walked towards the building that had the sign 'Doctor's Office' above it. Sam followed closely behind Lucas explained to the doctor who Lucas was. The doctor, an elderly man, led Lucas to the room his boy lie in, but stopped before opening the door.

"I must warn you, your son went through a lot. He is in pretty bad shape with cracked and broken ribs, a bruised lung, as well as bruises and abrasions all over."

"I just need to see my son alive." Lucas slowly said, fighting his tears. The doctor opened the door and walked back to the main office, Sam stayed outside of the room as Lucas went in.

"Mark?" Lucas called. "Mark?" Lucas was appalled by the vibrant bruises on Mark's face and arms, as well as his swollen cheek and eye.

"Oh, Mark!" Lucas said as he finally let the tears flow. They where good tears... they where a release. After sitting with Mark for some time, Lucas walked back out of the room and began talking with Sam.

"What happened to him?" Lucas asked in defeat.

"We're not entirely sure, but from what we know and what other boys have told us, Mark wouldn't give in to those animals and they kept punishing him by beating him. One boy told us Mark swore he wouldn't 'let those monsters break him'."

"Who are they? Why'd they have him?"

"Talley and Hanks where part of a large scheme masterminded by a man named Gumphry. They would find able bodied young men and bring them to their ranch to get free labor out of them. Most boys would give in and do as told without a fight after a day or two, but Mark... kept fighting. From what I've heard, it's a miracle he's still alive." Buckheart filled Lucas in on what he could and also told him the doctor wasn't sure when Mark would wake up.

"The boy is pure exhausted." The doctor said as he came back to check on Mark. Buckheart left to finish working on his report and the doctor left the father and son alone when he was done examining Mark.

When Mark woke up the next evening, he saw Rodgers walking over to him.

"Stay away from me!" Mark yelled. "Leave me alone!"

"Mark?" Lucas asked as he came to his son's side.

"Just stop!" Mark yelled as he leaped out of bed and ran to the corner of the room.

"Mark it's Pa!" Lucas said as he walked towards his son.

"You'll never be my Pa! Stay away from me!" Mark screamed as he tried to elude Lucas.

Lucas gently reached out to touch Mark, but also to get a good enough grip on him so his son wouldn't run away.

"Mark, you're alright, you're safe. You're with me."

"Don't touch me! Pa is back home! I don't know what game you're trying to play Rodgers, but it won't work!" Thinking Mark was in shock, Lucas slightly shook his son.

"Mark, listen to me. Buckheart sent for me and I'm here to take you home. You're safe!" Mark didn't know what to believe. He looked into the eyes of the man in front of him... they where eyes filled with love... but could it be? Mark shook Lucas off of him, but didn't run away.

"Mark?" Lucas asked with concern.

"What's my favorite food?"

"What?" A confused Lucas asked.

"I asked you what my favorite food was." Mark said with no emotion.

"It's apple pie... why did you want me to-?" Mark was suddenly overcome with the emotions of the last three weeks and let himself fall to the floor as tears streamed down his face. Mark jumped as Lucas sat beside him and Lucas put his arm around him, and even though he wanted to run, hide, and scream because of the contact, he told himself to accept it.

'It's Pa, not Rodgers. Rodgers was the one who beat you up, and he's dead now. Concentrate, Mark. Pa would never hurt you. It's Pa who's touching you, not Rodgers.' Mark continued to tell himself.

After a while, Lucas suggested Mark get back into bed. Lucas started helping Mark, but he sharply inhaled as soon as Lucas touched him.

"Mark?" Lucas asked in concern.

"I'm alright. I can get into bed by myself, thanks."

Lucas went to get the doctor who examined Mark and said in a few days they could take the stage home, but no riding for Mark until his ribs had completely healed.

"Are you going to the hotel now?" Mark asked.

"No, I'm staying with you tonight. Then we can both go to the hotel tomorrow night."

"You look exhausted, I'm sure you haven't slept for... well, since I went missing. I'll be fine, I understand if you want to get a room for the night."

"I'll sleep better on a cot in here, knowing you're safe." Mark tried to think of an excuse to get Lucas out of there, but he couldn't.

"How long was I missing?" Mark asked.

"Three weeks yesterday. I can't tell you how relieved I was to get Sam's telegraph, and then seeing you alive." Lucas said. As he reached down to put a hand on Mark's shoulder, Mark winced, causing Lucas to draw his hand back.

"Sorry, I'm just... tender." It wasn't a lie... but it wasn't the whole truth either. "Goodnight." Mark said as he turned his back to Lucas.

Lucas was quite confused, but chalked it up to what Mark had gone through. His son would come around, he told himself.

"Hey, Micah!" Mark said when he woke up to see the old man sitting in a chair.

"How are you feeling?" Micah asked.

"I hurt but the doctor said it should all heal in time. Where's my... father...?" Mark hated the fact that he wouldn't let himself refer to Lucas as 'Pa', but he just wasn't ready.

"Since when is your Pa, 'father'?" Micah asked laughingly before continuing. "He went to the restaurant to get the two of you something to eat."

"When did you get here?"

"This morning about four. Can't ride like I used to."

Later that day, Micah and Lucas where helping Mark get over to the hotel. Both noticed Mark insisted he could walk by himself, but when his balance faltered, he balanced himself with Micah instead of his Pa, who was closer and sturdier. Lucas wanted to ask Mark what was going on, but decided to wait until they got home and back to a normal routine.

'Mark will feel less distant by then.' He told himself.

That night, Mark had a hard time falling asleep like he had the previous night. Every time he looked to his left, he jumped thinking Rodgers was in the other bed.

'Stop it Mark! It's Pa!' He ordered himself for the twentieth time.

"It's Pa..." He whispered as the tears of frustration rolled down his bruised cheeks.

Once Lucas and Mark got home, they where both aware of the fact that being there wasn't going to make things better. Mark did everything he could to avoid Lucas. He hated the memories that seeing his Pa made him remember, waking up from a nightmare to the same face that was in Mark's dreams made falling back asleep nearly impossible, but the worst thing was his Pa's touch. Mark used to need it when going through rough times, it connected them, it helped Mark feel safe. Now it made Mark think of the beatings and lashings he got. Every time Mark saw his Pa, he felt like he was in danger. He didn't want things to be this way, but he didn't know how to fix it.

One evening while Lucas and Mark where having supper together, Lucas asked his son a question, for which he received no reply. After saying his son's name several times, Lucas waved his hand and snapped his fingers in front of Mark's face.

"Mark!" Lucas said, frustrated. Mark snapped out of his thoughts and stood up, knocking his chair over.

"Please don't!" Mark yelled. "Sorry... what did you want?" Mark asked as he stood his chair up and sat back down.

"I asked you what you thought about going back to school Monday..." Lucas said as he stared at his son in concern.

"Oh that's fine." Mark replied.

"Are you feeling alright? You don't look very good." Lucas said as he raised his hand to feel Mark's forehead. The gesture sent Mark sprawling Mark onto the floor.

"Mark?" Lucas asked.

"S-sorry I... I..."

"You what?" Lucas asked, fairly sure he knew the answer.

'What do I tell him? I'm scared of you? I know you would never hurt me but every time you move my mind tells me you're going to hit me? I can't stand to be with you?' "Nothing." Mark said aloud.

"Mark, you thought I was going to hit you, didn't you?" Lucas asked, hurt evident in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I just can't stop myself!" Mark said before running out of the house.

"Mark!" Lucas called after his son, before following.

Before long, Mark realized he was at that 'spot' in the woods. Why had he ran there? Lucas was sure to find him... or maybe that's really what he wanted.

"Mark?" Lucas called as he came up behind his boy. Mark didn't respond. Lucas knelt down next to his son and gently started to talk.

"You and I have been coming out here to talk for five years now to figure out our problems. Mind if we figure this one out, together?"

"You don't want to hear this. It'll hurt you too much."

"Not more than seeing you tormented like this. Mark, why won't you let me touch you?"

"I... I want to let you so bad... but it's an automatic reaction, one I can't stop. I'm sorry, I keep telling myself you're not Rodgers, but my body won't listen."

"Rodgers?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah, the- we haven't talked about him?"

"We haven't talked about any of it." Mark realized he hadn't talked to anyone about it. Maybe that was why he was having trouble letting go.

"Rodgers was in charge of making sure every boy was... 'broken'." Mark began to explain. "I wasn't going to let him 'brake' me though... so I did everything I could to fight back. Mouthing off, running away, making some nasty tasting grub. Rodgers kept beatin' and I kept rebelling. There where also the times he'd just hit me for no reason. It just keeps playing over and over and over in my mind."

"But you don't shy away from Micah, or Lou, or Nils?"

"That's only part of it. It was like Bantry all over again... only worse. Rodgers was clean shaven, and he didn't have a scar. The only difference between your face and his are your eyes. His where filled with hate... yours with love. That's why I asked the apple pie question... I saw the change in eyes, but I had to be sure. I couldn't give in to Rodgers."

"You where completely awake that whole time? I thought you where in shock."

"No, I was awake... I thought you where Rodgers. I thought he was going to finish the beating he started before Buckheart showed up. Those three weeks... I felt like a slave. I was a slave. They had chains on me and did with me as they pleased... they beat me and tortured me and..." Mark's heart started pounding and he began breathing faster. Lucas began to reach out to his son, but quickly drew his hand back, not wanting to scare Mark.

"Oh, Pa!" Mark exclaimed as he turned around and embraced Lucas. "Make them stop!" Mark yelled through his sobs as he cried into Lucas' shirt. Lucas breathed a slight sigh of relief, knowing that in time his son would be alright. It was the first time since Lucas had gotten his son back that Mark called him Pa or voluntarily touched him... and it felt good.

"Pa..." Mark continued to cry.

"Shhh, it's alright son. I've got you." Lucas assured Mark.

Mark sat up and put a hand on either side of his Pa's face. He studied it for a moment before leaning forewarned and wrapping his arms around Lucas' neck, then he kissed Lucas and buried his head into his Pa's shoulder. Mark let the tears flow as a release. He finally knew for sure that he was safe with his Pa, and Rodgers wasn't going to be hurting him any more.

Lucas began to loosen his grip on Mark, but Mark only clung to Lucas tighter.

"Pa, please don't let me go." Mark begged.

"I'll never let you go, Mark, never." Lucas said.

Lucas waited until Mark had fallen asleep to try to carry him back to the house, but Mark weighed more than he used to, even after those three weeks of next to nothing to eat. Mark was easily woken up by his Pa trying to move him around, and the two walked back to the house together.

As Mark was changing for bed, Lucas saw the signs of a whipping on Mark's back.

"Mark, they whipped you?" Lucas asked in unbelief. Mark nodded.

"I tried running away, but they caught up to me. By the seventh or eighth lash, I was out, but Rodgers didn't stop there. And then right before Buckheart showed up, Gumphry had given Rodgers orders to break me by the next morning... he used the whip while he was beating me... he hit more than my back." Lucas walked over and put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Mark... are you alright?"

"I wasn't before we talked... but I am now... now that I know I'm safe."

"Mark, I'm so glad you're home, with me, alive." Lucas said as he pulled Mark into a hug.

"I missed you so much, Pa... I love you."

Within the next few weeks, most of Mark's physical injuries had healed, as well as most of his emotional ones. Lucas and Mark often talked about different aspects of Mark's ordeal which helped Mark sort things out in his own mind. There where things that both of them knew would just take time to get over. Lucas struggled with letting Mark out of his sight, and Mark with new comers in town. They both helped each other through their struggles and worked to overcome their fears.

One evening, the father and son where working in the barn together.

"Pa, did you ever get that note they made me write?"

"Yes, the evening you disappeared. We did find that cabin, but the rain had washed out the tracks. Why do you ask?"

"Well I know Ma's health just wasn't ever the same after she had me... do you think if I hadn't been born she would've gotten over the smallpox?" Mark asked as he stared down. Lucas put his pitch fork down and walked over to Mark and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Mark, your Ma's death had nothing to do with you. There wasn't anything either of us could have done. I think the liveliest I ever saw your mother was after you where born. The disease was just too much for her body, and it had nothing to do with her having you, certain people just can't handle the illness. Do you understand me?" Mark nodded, but still didn't look up.

"Mark, there's a reason the good Lord took your mother home, and I'm not sure what it was, but what I do know is that it wasn't your choice or fault. And I also know that without you, I wouldn't be able to survive, so I better not get any more notes like that, young man." Lucas said half jokingly - half seriously.

"You won't Pa, I promise." Mark said as he looked up at his Pa.


End file.
